A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: “Wow, you won’t believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks. … Read more
A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, “A crocodile, a crocodile!” The woman woke up and asked, “Where, where?” A man cried again, “O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, “We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement. “ Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters’ flies. “The string … Read more
A woman is chatting with her friends when she points at a man in the street, ‘That’s my next-door neighbor. He’s an alcoholic!’ One of her friends asks, ‘How do you know that?’ The woman replies, ‘Yesterday he was at the bar drinking next to me all night. ‘ This joke is included in the … Read more
Three politicians were in a heated discussion as to which one was the best liar. As the discussion was getting louder and louder the bartender suggested they have a liars contest. After agreeing to the rules the first says, “I have never told a lie, “ The second indicated that he was not capable of … Read more
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: Cheeseburger: $1. 50 Chicken Sandwich: $2. 50 Hand Job: $10. 00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks. “Can I help you?” she asks. “I was wondering, “whispers the … Read more
A duck walked into a pet store and asked the owner if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner said; “No, I don’t sell duck food here”. The next day the duck went back to the same pet store, and asked the owner again if he sold “duck-food” here. The owner became very angry and said; … Read more
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog. “ “Oh man, “the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on … Read more
An airman in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, “Wanna hear a marine joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6′ tall, 200 lbs, and I’m a marine. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2” tall, weighs … Read more
A man walks into a bar. “Ouch. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.