A Penguin is driving down the street when suddenly his car breaks down in the hot desert. He calls a towing service and takes it to the nearest shop in some small town he’s never been in. Mechanic tells him it’s going to be awhile. The penguin says, “No problem. I’ll just go across the … Read more
A man, an ostrich and a cat enter a bar and sit down at the bar. The bartender looks at the man and says, “What’ll ya have?” The man says, “Gimme a beer. “ The ostrich says, “I’ll have one too. “ The cat says, “I want two beers, but I’m only gonna pay half … Read more
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. After watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player’s and whispers “ Wow, … Read more
A man limps into a bar with a cane and an alligator. The bartender stops him and says “Hold on a second here – you can’t bring that animal in here, they aren’t allowed!” So the man says, “But my gator here does a really cool trick… “ The bartender says “Well then, let’s see!” … Read more
A tourist is in Spain, and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the … Read more
A penguin walks into a bar, goes to the counter, and asks the bartender, “Have you seen my little brother?” The bartender says, “I don’t know. What does he look like?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Comic Sans, Helvetica, and Times New Roman walk into a bar. “Get out!” shouts the barman. “We don’t serve your type here!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively … Read more
A man goes into a pub, takes a seat at the bar, and orders five shots. The bartender gives him an odd look since he’s all by himself, but he serves up the five shots and lines them up on the bar. The man downs them all quickly. He finishes the last one and calls … Read more
A college professor walked into a bar and said, “Bring me a martinus. “ The bartender smiled and said, “You mean martini?” “If I want more than one, “snapped the professor, “I’ll order them” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.