A man walks into a bar with his dog and orders two glasses of whiskey. He proposes a toast and both he and his dog empty their glasses. The girl behind the bar is surprised and asks: ‘Can your dog perform other tricks?’. ‘But of course’, the man answers, ‘he can even gratify a woman’. … Read more
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, “Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn’t bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. “By the time I was 50, I could … Read more
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotch man are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, “The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free”. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottish man says, “. . yeah. That’s quite … Read more
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Why the wrong face?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The bartender said “Sorry,we don’t serve time travelers. “ Two time travelers walk into a bar. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A guy is sitting in a bar and turns to the Asian guy next to him and asks: “Hey do you know, Tae Kwon Do, Jiu Jitsu, Kung Fu or any of that sh*t?” Offended, the Asian man replies: “What do you think that just because I’m Asian I know martial arts?” The man replies: … Read more
A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, “Ohh my god Texas seats are really big. “ He went to a bar and asked for a beеr and when the bartender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, “Wooww Texas mugs are really big. “ Later … Read more
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm and asks the barman “Can I have a drink for me and one for the road?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
An armless man walked into a bar which was empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip … Read more
A man walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The Bartender says, “Why do you have a steering wheel in your pants?” The man replies “I don’t know but it’s driving me nuts”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.