Jake: “I have the greatest golf ball in the world. You can’t lose it. “ Tim: “How so?” Jake: “If you hit it into the sand, it beeps. You hit it into the water, it floats. If you want to play golf at night it glows. “ Tim: “Hey, sounds good. Where did you get … Read more
A down and out musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?” “I don’t have one, “confessed the musician. “In that case, you’ll have to accompany me. “ “Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?” This joke is … Read more
A cruise ship full of Mother-in-Laws was heading towards Hawaii for a week when their ship capsized killing everyone. Their families cried for a whole week. But after 3 weeks one man was still crying, so the people asked him why he was still crying. The man replies, “My Mother-in-Law missed the darn boat!” This … Read more
Patrick and Steve are fishing on a lake. After about an hour when neither of them had a bite, Patrick decided to row to the middle part of the lake; where they were very successful Steve: “This is a great spot for fishing, Pat. We’ll have to mark this spot so we can come back … Read more
Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He’s got two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, “What’s in the bags?” “Sand, “answered Juan. The guard says, “We’ll just see about that – get off the bike!” The guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties … Read more
“Sir, why are you trying to cross the road in this dangerous place? There’s a zebra crossing just a few yards up the road, “said the policeman. “Well, I hope he’s having better luck than I am, “said the pedestrian. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A state trooper is driving down the highway when he sees a truck driver pull over, walk to the side of the truck with a tire jack, bang on the side of the truck a few times, and then drive away. A couple of miles down the road the driver does the same thing. A … Read more
A speeding driver was pulled over by a policeman. He asked the policeman, “Why was I pulled over when I wasn’t the only one speeding. “ The policeman replied, “Have you ever been fishing?” The man then said, “Yes, I have. “ “Well, have you ever caught all the fish?” asked the policeman. This joke … Read more
As a holiday gift Fred and Norma received from their neighbors an apple pie. As lovely as the gesture was, it was clear from the first bite that the pie tasted bad. It was so inedible that they had to throw it away. Ever gracious and tactful, Norma sent the neighbors a note. “Thank you … Read more
A Texan is visiting Australia for the first time. He sees a sheep and starts laughing. He says to his Australian guide “Oh, at home in Texas, sheep are twice as big!” He then sees a cow and bursts “Puff, in Texas, our cows are much, much bigger!” The conversation almost dies but then the … Read more