At an art gallery, a woman and her eleven-year old son were having a tough time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one. “I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one, “said the gallery owner, who happened to be nearby and witnessed the … Read more
A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow. “Who is this incredibly fine archer?” cried the duke. “I must find him!” After continuing through the forest for a few … Read more
A man committed murder. To fight his case he was advised to hire a good lawyer. He checked one who asked for $100. He thought this one was not good enough. The next one wanted $500. The next $5000. He found a really expensive one who wanted $10,0000. So the accused hired him. Ultimately he … Read more
A busy mother and her two small children, Jack and Sally, were on a train ride to the city. Halfway through the trip, Jack asked his mother, “What was the name of the last station where this train stopped?” The mother replied, “I don’t remember. “Why?” “Well, “little Jack answered, “because that’s where Sally got … Read more
The District Attorney stared at the jury, unable to believe the “not guilty” verdict he’d just heard. Bitterly, he asked, “What possible excuse could you have for acquitting this man?” The foreman answered, “Insanity. “ The attorney responded, still incredulous, “I could understand that. But, all twelve of you?” This joke is included in the … Read more
Two lawyers were walking along, negotiating a case. “Look, “said one to the other, “let’s be honest with each other. “ “Okay, you first, “replied the other. That was the end of the discussion. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A small boy turned to his aunt Michelle and said, “Wow, you’re not pretty!” His mother overheard the remark and was appalled. She took him aside and gave him a real telling-off before ordering him to go back out to say sorry to Aunt Michelle. Suitably chastened, the boy went over and said quietly, “Aunt … Read more
An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, “Why did you do that?” … … “Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun, “the elephant said. “Wow, forty years ago! … Read more
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, “You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can. “ After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked … Read more
A pipe burst in a lawyer’s house, so he called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the lawyer a bill for $150. The lawyer exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a lawyer!” The plumber replied sympathetically, “Neither did I … Read more