Jokes

Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.

Johnny Well

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Little Johnny: “Dad, will you do my math for me tonight?” Dad: “No, son, it wouldn’t be right. “ Little Johnny: “Well, you could try. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Gas Men

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Two gas company servicemen, a senior training supervisor and a young trainee, were out checking meters in a suburban neighborhood. They parked their truck at the end of the alley and worked their way to the other end. At the last house a woman looking out her kitchen window watched the two men as they … Read more

Alarm System

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Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman. “ He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally … Read more

Confident Smile

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A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. “All right children, let’s take another example, “she said. “If I were to get into a man’s pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?” Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, … Read more

Acute Angina

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An elderly couple met for a romp in the broom closet at the nursing home. They undressed and were about to screw, The woman decided to warn the man of her heart condition. “I should tell you, I have acute angina, “she said. The man replied, “That’s very good because you have the ugliest breasts … Read more

Viagra Tablet

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A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in hospital. “How are you grandpa? he asks. “Feeling fine, “says the old man. “What’s the food like?” “Terrific, wonderful menus. “ “And the nursing?” “Just couldn’t be better. These young nurses really take care of you. “ “What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?” “No problem, … Read more

Shirt I’d Write

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A grandmother sent her grandson a shirt for his birthday. The only trouble was that he had a size 14 neck and the shirt was size 12. When the grandson sent a thank you note, he wrote, “Dear Grandma. Thanks a lot for the shirt. I’d write more, but I’m all choked up. “ This … Read more

Mystic Chose

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An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all times. The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols. The mystic chose … Read more