Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Three boy scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash. The pilot says “Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let’s give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them. “ The lawyer says, “Fuck the boy … Read more
At a Catholic school, there was a “meet the teacher” open house for the 2nd graders. After the meeting, a Nun announced that there would be a small reception afterwards in the cafeteria. All the children and parents filed in, and saw on a table a plate of apples, a plate of cookies, and some … Read more
A judge, bored and frustrated by a lawyer’s tedious arguments, had made numerous rulings to speed the trial along. The attorney had bristled at the judge’s orders, and their tempers grew hot. Finally, frustrated with another repetition of arguments he had heard many times before, the judge pointed to his ear and said, “Counselor, you … Read more
The census taker knocked on Miss Gibson’s door. She answered all his questions except one. She refused to tell him her age. “But everybody tells their age to the census taker, “the man said. “Did Miss Mary Hill and Miss Patty Hill tell you their ages?” “Certainly. “Well, I’m the same age as they are, … Read more
A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. “Jury trial, “the defendant replied. “Do you understand the difference?” asked the judge. “Sure, “replied the defendant. “That’s where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
Mary comes home rather late. “Oh, sweetheart, “she called, “your car’s on Maple Street. “ “Why didn’t you bring it home?” her husband asked. “Couldn’t, she said. “It’s too dark out there to find all the parts. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. “What’ll be, boys?” The first vampire says, “Blood. Give me blood. “ The second vampire says, “I too wish for blood!” The third vampire says, “Give me plasma. “ The Bartender smiles and says, “Got it. Two … Read more
Kathy goes to her local bank, walks into the manager’s office, and says, “I want a loan; I am going to divorce my husband. “ “Oh, we don’t give loans for divorces, “the manager says. “We offer loans only for things like real estate, appliances, automobiles, businesses, and home improvement. “ Kathy interrupts: “Stop right … Read more
After her conviction of murder in the second degree, the District Attorney, during her sentencing hearing said, “Mrs. Madison – after you put the arsenic in the stew and served it to your husband, didn’t you feel even a little remorse for what you were doing?” “I did, “she said calmly. “And when was that?” … Read more
A couple was at the mall and his wife decided to buy something for their daughter-in-law at an exclusive lingerie shop. Inside, the husband was feeling very out of place when a beautiful clerk asked if she could help him. In a cocky manner, he asked, “Where are all the men’s clothes?” In a demure … Read more