Browse a highly curated database of jokes designed to optimize your daily dopamine metrics. From efficient dad jokes to complex narrative punchlines, these text assets are guaranteed to lower your productivity, increase your morale, and provide a measurable return on engagement.
Nurse: “Doctor, doctor! The man you’ve just treated collapsed on the front step! What should I do?” Doctor: “Turn him around, so it looks like he was just arriving!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A heart surgeon came to a mechanic to repair his car. The mechanic had a look at the car’s engine, opened a valve and fixed it. The mechanic said, “I repaired the engine which is the heart of the car. You also operate on the hearts of humans, so our jobs are quite similar. So … Read more
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ”How do you really feel? I mean, you’re 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?” ”Honestly, I feel like a newborn baby. I’ve got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself. ” This … Read more
A woman walks into her psychiatrist’s office and says, “Hey Doc, you know how we have been talking about saying things that don’t come out the way we meant them to?” The psychiatrist replies, “You mean Freudian slips?” “Exactly, those. Well, I had the most amazing one last night. I was eating dinner with my … Read more
A man asks his doctor: “Do you think I’ll live to be a hundred?” The doctor asks the man “Well, that depends. Do you drink?” “Oh, no sir! I abstain from all alcohol. Soda, too. I just drink plenty of fresh water. “ “Do you smoke?” “No, sir! Never smoked in my life, and I … Read more
An old man went to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave him a clean bill of health. “You’re in excellent shape for a 75-year-old man, “he said. “But I’m afraid I can’t make you any younger. “ “Who asked you to make me … Read more
A woman was having a medical problem – her husband was snoring. She called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her “suffering”. “Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 … Read more
“Doctor!” said the woman as she loudly bounced into the room, “I want you to tell me very frankly what’s wrong with me?” He surveyed her from head to foot. “Madam, “he said at length, “I’ve just three things to tell you. First, you need to lose at least twenty pounds. Second, you should use … Read more
Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. “I’ll go into town for a doctor, “the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the only doctor delivering a baby. “I can’t leave, “the doctor says. “But here’s what to do. … Read more
Craig was sitting on a lawn, sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn. Craig helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair. “My goodness, “Craig exclaimed. “You are quite old to be driving!” “Yes, … Read more