In a terrible accident at a railroad crossing, a train smashed into a car and pushed it nearly four hundred yards down the track. Though no one was killed, the driver took the train company to court. At the trial, the engineer insisted that he had given the driver ample warning by waving his lantern … Read more
In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner: “Before you signed the death certificate, did you take the pulse, listen to the heart or check for breathing?” “No. “ “So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren’t sure the man was dead, were you?” “Well, the man’s brain was in a … Read more
A pickpocket was up in court for a series of petty crimes. The judge said “Mr. Banks you are hereby fined $100. “ The lawyer stood up and said “Thanks, my lord, however my client only has $75 on him at this time, but perhaps you could allow him a few minutes in the crowd… … Read more
A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident, in which a car smashed into a tree. The cop rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?” “How should I know?” the man answers, “I’m not a lawyer!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You … Read more
Thief had successfully entered the art museum on the second floor, where lesser known artists are displayed. After previewing the art, he selected a piece to take. As he was making his getaway, one of the guards came up from behind, snatched the picture from under the thief’s arms and slammed it down over his … Read more
A judge convicted and sentenced a man to serve five consecutive life terms in prison. When the judge asked if there was anything he wanted to help pass the time, the man replied… “A Perpetual Calendar!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man visiting a graveyard saw a tombstone that read: “Here lies John Smith, a lawyer and an honest man. “ “How about that!” he exclaimed. “They’ve got three people buried in one grave. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Eight hours into his trial Paddy pleads guilty. “Why didn’t you plead guilty at the beginning and save the court’s time?” The judge demanded. “Well, “Paddy responded, “until I heard all the evidence I thought I was innocent. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The bartender asked a guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have? The guy answered, “A scotch, please. “ The bartender handed him the drink and said, “That’ll be $5. “ The guy said, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this. “ A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, … Read more
A guy was talking with his friend: I’ve managed to separate from my wife in common agreement: she gets the house and I get the car and desk. Ok, but how about your finances? The lawyer takes care of those… This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more