An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain, “came the reply, “except the lawyers … Read more
In the High Court: “Do you know what you get for false testimony?” “Yes, they promised me a Mercedes… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer’s firm, and was ushered into his office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Well, if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first. … Read more
A lawyer meets with the family of a recently deceased millionaire for the reading of the will. “To my loving wife, Rose, who always stood by me, I leave the house and $2 million, “the attorney reads. “To my darling daughter, Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I left … Read more
One of Hitler’s assistants says to him one day, “Sir, we’re mining too many useless ores. “ Hitler replies, “Well, mine less. “ A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, “Mine FEWER!” Hitler looks up and asks, “Yes?” A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. … Read more
Two lawyers are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman walking towards them. ‘What a babe,’ one says. ‘I’d sure like to screw her!’ ‘Really?’ replies the other. ‘Out of what?’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The boss speaking with the secretary: “Who told you that, if I kissed you a couple of times, you have the right to laze all day long?” “My lawyer. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, ‘Do you serve lawyers here?’ ‘Sure do,’ replies the bartender. ‘Good,’ says the man. ‘Give me a beer, and a lawyer for my’gator.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man calls a lawyer’s office. A voice answers, ‘Schwartz, Schwartz and Schwartz.’ The man says, ‘Let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’ ‘I’m sorry, he’s on vacation.’ ‘Then let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’ ‘He’s in a big case, not available for a week.’ ‘Okay, then, let me talk to Mr Schwartz.’ ‘Speaking.’ This joke … Read more
Man goes to the doctors and says “Doctor, I can’t stop my hands from shaking !” Doctor replies “Do you drink much ?” Man says “no, I spill most of it !” Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. … Read more