Marriage

One day, Ahmed’s wife called him a pedophile. In response, Ahmed asked his wife, “So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

A recent widow was crying to a grief counselor. “We were married twenty-five years before he died, “she said, dabbing away a tear. “Never had an argument in all those years. “ “Amazing, “said the counselor. “How did you do it?” “I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was a coward. “ This joke … Read more

Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some time. One asked how the other’s husband was doing. “Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up cabbage for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable patch. “ “Oh … Read more

A 96 year old man goes in the insurance and says to the insurer: “Hello my son. I want to have a life insurance policy. “ Perplexed by the old man, the insurer asks: “Sorry for the indiscretion, but why do you want to make life insurance?” “You know my son, I will travel with … Read more

An elderly spinster called the lawyer’s office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared. The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office. The woman replied, “You must understand, I’ve lived alone all my life, I … Read more

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out, since they can’t see each other signing. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution. “Honey, why don’t we agree on some … Read more

A man met a beautiful lady and he decided he wanted to marry her right away. She said, “But we don’t know anything about each other. “ He said, “That’s all right, we’ll learn about each other as we go along. “ She consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a … Read more

This guy called up his lawyer to tell him he was filing for divorce, and the lawyer inquired as to the grounds for the suit. “I’ve got grounds, all right, “sputtered the irate husband. “Can you believe my wife told me I’m a lousy lover?” “That’s why you’re suing?” pursued his lawyer. “Of course not. … Read more

Halfway through Joe’s shift at the photoshop, a guy came in to pick up some photos of his naked wife. Naturally, Joe had a little peek as he handed them over. “Would you like the negatives?” he asked. “Yes please, “the guy said sheepishly. Joe said, “Your wife’s got saggy tits, a large belly and … Read more