A man and a woman meet in an elevator. “Where are you heading today?” the man asks. “I’m going down to give blood. “ “How much do you get paid for giving blood?” “About $20. “ “Wow, “says the man, “I’m going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100. “The woman angrily … Read more
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions. “ He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?” The woman replies, “I’m a whore. “ The … Read more
While having their evening dinner together, a little girl looked up at her father and asked, “Daddy, you’re the boss in our family, right?” The father was very pleased to hear it and confidently replied, “Yes my little princess. “ The girl then continued, “That’s because mommy put you in charge, right?” This joke is … Read more
“Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on Daddy’s stomach last night?” “I have to do that, or Daddy’s belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny. “ “That’s not going to work. “ “Why not?” “Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
At work, a blonde notices that her cubicle mate has a thermos. She asks him what it’s for, and he responds, “It keeps hot things hot, and cold things cold. “ The blonde immediately buys one. The next day, she goes to work and proudly displays it. Her cube mate asks, “What do you have … Read more
An old lady was considering buying a squirrel fur coat. “But will it be all right in the rain?” she asked anxiously. “Oh certainly, ma am, “said the manager smoothly. “After all, have you ever seen a squirrel with an umbrella?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor. He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss. “Sir, please calm down, “the manager replied. “It’s dead. It can’t bother you now. “ “The dead one doesn’t bother me. “Bob said. “It’s his pallbearers. “ … Read more
During her company’s periodic password audit, a blond employee was found to be using this password: GoofyHueyLouieDeweyDaisyDonaldMickeyMinniePhoenix When she was asked why she had such a long password, she said, “The boss said that my password had to be at least eight characters long and have at least one capital. “ This joke is included … Read more
A blonde has been working in a broom factory since forever and has always been a good worker. But one day, she storms into her boss’ office. “I quit! That’s it, I’m not working here anymore!” “Why?” asks the boss. “What’s the problem?” “I’ve been working here for so long that I’ve grown the broom … Read more