A guy rings his boss and says “I can’t come to work today” The boss asks why and the guy says “It’s my eyes. “ “What’s wrong with your eyes?” asks the boss. “I just can’t see myself coming to work, so I’m going fishing instead… “ This joke is included in the Black Book … Read more
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job. “Okay, “the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?” “11” he replied. The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right. … Read more
Two tourists were driving through Rhode Island. As they were approaching Quonochontaug, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, where one of the tourists asked the blonde employee. “Before we order, could you please settle an … Read more
A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, “Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?” The man below says: “Yes. You’re in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above … Read more
One day a rather inebriated ice fisherman drilled a hole in the ice and peered into the hole and a loud voice said, “There are no fish down there. “ He walked several yards away and drilled another hole and peered into the hole and again the voice said, “There’s no fish down there. “ … Read more
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, “How much is the yellow one?” The assistant says, “$2000. “ The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it’s so expensive. … Read more
A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under “Number of children, “she wrote “10, “and where it said “List names of children, “she wrote “Leroy. “ When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: “Now here, where it says “List names of children, “you’re supposed to … Read more
Every day after work two blondes would look for their cars together. Since they could never remember where they parked, they would sit around until all the cars were gone and they could spot their vehicles. One blonde says “We need to find a faster way to get home. “ The next day, they come … Read more
The economy is not going well and an unemployed engineer desperately needing work is nervous about an upcoming accountant job interview. The interview goes well, but as the engineer stands up to leave the manager says, “Oh just one more question. How much is four times eight?” Puzzled, the engineer responds that in all calculations, … Read more
“Ryan is so forgetful, “the sales manager complained to his secretary. “It’s a wonder he can sell anything. I asked him to pick me up some sandwiches on his way back from lunch but I’m not sure he’ll even remember to come back. “ Just then the door flew open and bounced Ryan. “You’ll never … Read more