A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, “Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce. “ “Because, “the man says, “I live in a two-story house. “ The Judge replies, “What kind of a reason is that! What’s the big … Read more
A lawyer’s dog, running around town unleashed, heads for a butcher shop and steals a roast. The butcher goes to the lawyer’s office and asks, “if a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog’s owner?” The lawyer … Read more
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter, “said one. “No! He agreed to marry MY daughter, “said the other. And so they argued before the King until he called for silence. “Bring me my biggest sword, “said … Read more
A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when a beautiful young lady walked in. Without any preliminaries she said she wanted a divorce. “On what grounds?” asked the lawyer. “I don’t think he is faithful to me, “she replied. “And what makes you think he isn’t faithful?” asked the lawyer. “Well, … Read more
During the French revolution, hundreds of people were guillotined. One day, three men were led up to die. One was a lawyer, one was a doctor, and the third was an engineer. The lawyer was to die first. He was led to the guillotine, the attending priest blessed him, and he knelt with his head … Read more
A woman was being questioned in a court trial involving slander. “Please repeat the slanderous statements you heard, exactly as you heard them, “instructed the lawyer. The witness hesitated. “But they are unfit for any respectable person to hear, “she protested. “Then, “said the attorney, “just whisper them to the judge. “ This joke is … Read more
A bunch of lawyers were sitting around the office playing poker. “I win!” said Johnson. Henderson threw down his cards. “That’s it! I’ve had it! Johnson is cheating! ! !” “How can you tell?” Phillips asked. “Those aren’t the cards I dealt him!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can … Read more
A lawyer is settling accounts with his client. “Let’s do it this way, “he says, “Pay me $5000 now and then $400 a month. “ “Gee, “the client says, “I feel like I’m paying for a car. “ Lawyer replies, “You are! And it’s a nice one too. “ This joke is included in the … Read more
Two policemen knocked on John’s door in the evening. They said, “We’ve been getting complaints. “ “You should start doing a better fucking job then. “said John. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.