How Do You Spell Paint?
Paddy and Murphy were doing a crossword. Paddy asks, “How do you spell paint”? Murphy replies, “What color?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The Tenth Child
A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife, “Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I … Read more
The Talking Horse
The man selling two-dollar tickets at racetrack registered complete surprise when a horse stepped up to the window, and asked to bet on himself. “What’s the matter?” snorted the horse. “Are you astonished that I can talk?” “Not at all, “said the man. “I’m surprised that you think you can win. “ This joke is … Read more
Uncle Bill’s Treatment
A man visiting a doctor says: “Doctor I just dropped in to tell you how much I benefited from your treatment. “ The doctor replied; “But you are not one of my patients. “ The man said: “I know. But my uncle Bill was, and I am his heir. “ This joke is included in … Read more
Dormitory Season Pass
A professor was talking about rules on the university campus. “The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory for the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught … Read more
Great Dane’s Nails Clipped
Two male dogs poodle and a Great Dane are in the vet office, waiting to be seen. The Great Dane turns to the one to the poodle and asks, “What are you in for?” The poodle looks at him sadly and says, “Our neighbors got a really smoking hot poodle, so I jumped the fence … Read more
Time and Best Friends
“Time separates the best of friends, “said one woman to another. “How true, “replied the other. “Twenty years ago we were fifteen, now you’re thirty-five and I’m twenty-nine!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Calling the Owls
Each evening bird lover William stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl – and one night, an owl finally called back to him. For a year, the man and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the “conversation. “ Just as he thought he was on the verge … Read more
The Dozen Roses
Julia tells her husband, “James, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes home, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can’t you do that?” “Gosh, “James says, “why I hardly … Read more
Replacing the Cat
A man runs over a cat. The cat’s address is on its collar so the man goes to apologize to the owner. He knocks on the door and a little old lady answers. The man says, “I’m so sorry. I’ve just run over your cat. Can I replace it?” “I don’t know, “replies the old … Read more