Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. “That’s my pager, “he says. “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm. “ A few minutes later a phone rings. The second … Read more
A politician went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: “Sir, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side. “ The politician interrupted, “Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody … Read more
A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer’s firm, and was ushered into his office. “Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer asked. “Well, if those are my choices, I guess I’ll take the bad news first. … Read more
An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotch man are sitting in a pub full of people. The Englishman says, “The pubs in England are the best. You can buy one drink and get a second one free”. Everyone in the pub agreed and gave a big cheer. The Scottish man says, “. . yeah. That’s quite … Read more
In the High Court: “Do you know what you get for false testimony?” “Yes, they promised me a Mercedes… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don’t worry, Sir, it’s not that hot! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
“Oh, I sure am glad to see you, “the little boy said to his grandmother on his mother’s side. “Now Daddy will do the trick he’s been promising us. “ The grandmother was curious. “What trick is that?” she asked. “He told Mommy that he’d climb the walls if you came to visit, “answered the … Read more
Two old drunks in a bar. The first one says, “Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn’t bend it with either of my hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard. “By the time I was 50, I could … Read more
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. “It’s for my husband, “she tells the clerk. “Did he tell you what gauge to get?” asked the clerk. “Are you kidding?” she says. “He doesn`t even know that I`m going to shoot him!” This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more