The preacher, in his Sunday sermon, used “Forgive Your Enemies” as his subject. After a long sermon, he asked how many were willing to forgive their enemies. About half held up their hands. Not satisfied, he harangued for another twenty minutes and repeated his question. This time he received a response of about 80 percent. … Read more
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he’s drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball. The bartender screams at the guy, “Your monkey just ate the … Read more
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, “How would you like … Read more
A guy walked into his friend’s office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. “Hey, what’s up with you?, “he asked. “Oh, it’s my wife, “replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me. “ “Well, nothing wrong in that, “he said, “Is she blonde or brunette?” “Neither. He’s … Read more
A man is watching TV supping the fourth can from his six pack. “Don’t go”, he suddenly yells at the screen. “Do not enter that building. Turn around and walk away. Aargh, you stupid man. “ His wife calls from the kitchen, “What are you watching, honey?” “Our wedding video, “he bravely answers. This joke … Read more
A guy finds his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in its mouth. The rabbit is dead and the guy panics. He takes the dirty, chewed up rabbit into the house. He gives it a bath, blows dry its fur, and puts it back into the cage at the neighbor’s house, hoping they will think … Read more
A man in a hurry taking his ten-year-old son to school made a turn at a red light where it was prohibited. “Uh-oh, I think I just made an illegal turn!” the man said. “It’s okay, Dad, “the boy said, “The police car right behind us did the same thing. “ This joke is included … Read more
A man came storming out of the courthouse ranting and raving; obviously really angry. He stomped across the street and into the bar and flounced down on a stool muttering, “Asshole attorneys”. The man next to him recoiled in outrage saying “I want you to know I highly resent that remark”. “Why, are you an … Read more
Two law partners hire a new cute, young secretary and a contest arises between them as to who can bed her first, even though they’re both already married. Eventually one of them scores with her and his partner is quite eager to hear how things went. “So what did you think?” he asks. “Ahh, “replies … Read more