On a street where the speed limit is 30 mph, the police stop a driver. “Not only have you been driving too fast, you’ve been passing cars where it is not allowed. Your lights don’t work, your tires all completely worn out. This is surely going to cost you a lot. What’s your name?” “Sctrathewisilenki … Read more
A cop pulls a car over on the highway for speeding. When he asked for the driver’s license, the driver argued, “Speeding? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car and the car behind me!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it … Read more
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a … Read more
At a Catholic school, there was a “meet the teacher” open house for the 2nd graders. After the meeting, a Nun announced that there would be a small reception afterwards in the cafeteria. All the children and parents filed in, and saw on a table a plate of apples, a plate of cookies, and some … Read more
Three boy scouts, a lawyer, a priest, and a pilot are in a plane that is about to crash. The pilot says “Well, we only have 3 parachutes, let’s give them to the 3 Boy Scouts. They are young and have their whole lives in front of them. “ The lawyer says, “Fuck the boy … Read more
The judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement from one which he had previously made to the police. “For example, “he said, “when I entered my chambers today, I was sure I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then … Read more
A big, burly man visited his pastor’s home and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. “Madam, “he said in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father of the family is dead, the … Read more
Two guys find three grenades and they decide to take them to the police station. One asks, “What if one explodes before we get there?” The other replies, “We’ll lie and say we only found two. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
One night, a lady stumbled into the police station with a black eye. She claimed she heard a noise in her backyard and went to investigate. The next thing she knew she was hit in the eye and knocked out cold. An officer was sent to her house to investigate and he returned one hour … Read more
A couple was invited to a swanky Halloween party. The day of the party the wife got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was … Read more