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Car Keys

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A man had been in a meeting that lasted all afternoon and as he walked out, he was tired and just wanted to go home. He reached into his coat pocket and realized his car keys were missing. He looked around but could not find his keys. He went outside to look in the car … Read more

Officer Stopped

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A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer, “the man began, “I can explain. “ “Just be quiet, “snapped the officer. I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back. “ “But, officer, I just wanted to say…” “And I said to keep … Read more

Officer I’d Recognize

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A man was crossing the road when he was hit by a car, which then sped off. A police officer asked the injured man, “Did you get a look at the driver?” “No, “he said, “but I can tell you it was my ex-wife. “ “How do you know that?” asked the officer. “I’d recognize … Read more

Clergyman Besides Haven’t

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The pastor of a local church was visited by a man evidently worse for liquor, and a young lady. She said to the minister, “Please, sir, we’ve come to be married. “ “I can’t marry you with this man in this condition, “said the clergyman. “Besides, haven’t you been here twice before, and haven’t I … Read more

Wait Till

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A woman walks into a police precinct and reports that her husband is missing. When the Sergeant asked her how long her husband’s been missing she says, “Since last winter. “ Astonished, the Sargent asked, “Why did you wait till spring to report him missing?” The woman replies, “Because the landscaping company is asking too … Read more

Per Cent Extra

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A shopkeeper goes to the police to say that he has been robbed. A shoplifter came into his shop, he says, opened a packet of biscuits and ate some of them. Then the man just walked out without paying. The police find the man and bring him in. “I’ve done nothing wrong, “he says. “The … Read more

Dang Blanket

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A priest and a nun are caught in a severe snowstorm. They find a deserted cabin and take shelter from the blizzard. They find a sleeping bag, a bed, and a pile of blankets. The priest, being a gentleman, offers the nun the bed and takes the sleeping bag for himself. As they get tucked … Read more

Lesson God Smiled

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There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was … Read more

Entire Meal

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After eating his entire meal, an elderly man motioned for the server. When the server approached him, he asked for the manager. He explained he would not pay for the meal. The manager responded by contacting the police. When the police arrived, they heard the complaint and responded to the senior, “You need to pay … Read more

Phone Again Dials

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A boy asks his father to explain the differences among irritation, aggravation, and frustration. His father picks up the phone and dials a number at random. When the phone is answered, he asks, “Can I speak to Ben, please?” “No! There’s no one called Ben here, “says the person who answered the phone. His father … Read more