A cell phone rings in a full mens locker room, the man answers the phone He puts it on the speaker. Man: “Hello!” Woman: “Hi honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” Man: “Yes. “ Woman: “I’m at the mall and I just saw this beautiful leather coat and it’s only $2,000, can I … Read more
There was a man who had three girlfriends, but he did not know which one to marry. So he decided to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spent it. The first one went out and got a total makeover with the money. She got new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, … Read more
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. “If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?” he asked her. The secretary replied, “Everything but my earrings. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
A dietician was once addressing a large audience during a lecture. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that … Read more
A man asks his mute friend what he wants in a woman. The mute friend points to his head. His friend says, “Yes, intelligence is important. “ Then, the mute friend rubs his thumb on the palm of his hand. His friend nods and says, “Certainly a woman with money would be nice. “ Then, … Read more
Little Johnny asks, “Mommy, where do babies come from?” His mother replies, “The stork brings them. “ Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, “Then who fucks the stork?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson. “If you had ten dollars, “said the teacher, “and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?” “Ten, “said Little Johnny firmly. “Ten?” the teacher said “How do you make it ten?” “Well, “replied Little Johnny … Read more
A guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, “Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?” She yells, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!” Everyone in the bar is now … Read more
Passing an office building late one night, a little Johnny saw a sign that said, “Press bell for night watchman. “ He did so, and after several minutes he heard the watchman clomping down the stairs. The old, uniformed man proceeded to unlock first one gate, then another, shut down the alarm system, and finally … Read more
The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees. She explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later, the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest. Little Johnny ,at the back of the class, put his hand up and asked the … Read more