Twin sisters in a Nursing Home were turning 100 years old. The local newspaper sends a photographer to take pictures… One of the twins was hard of hearing and the other could hear quite well. Once the photographer arrived he asked the sisters to sit on the sofa. The deaf sister said to her twin, … Read more
An old man is being interviewed on live TV “Hello everybody. We are with Michael, who is 97 years old. Michael, tell us, what’s your secret?” “During the war, I sucked off a Nazi soldier in exchange for food. “ “…I meant about your age. “ “Ah… Eating healthy. “ This joke is included in … Read more
Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man in a three-piece suit. “This young lawyer agreed to marry my daughter, “said one. “No! He agreed to marry MY daughter, “said the other. And so they argued before the King until he called for silence. “Bring me my biggest sword, “said … Read more
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their life and their money. The gang was very happy to escape. “It ain’t so bad, “one crook noted. “We got $25 between us. “ The boss screamed:”I warned you to stay clear of lawyers-we … Read more
A golfer is walking down the road carrying his clubs when he sees an Arab being held up at gunpoint. He pulls out a wedge and smashes it over the back of the robber’s head, knocking him unconscious. “You probably saved my life, “says the grateful Arab. “I am a member of the Saudi Royal … Read more
The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s. “May I help you?” she asked. “I want to see Valerie, “the man replied. “Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else, “said the madam. “No, I must see … Read more
An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex, “said the lawyer, “but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be executed. Due to the complexity, my fee is $4500. “ Just then, the phone rang … Read more
It’s the summer of 1960, and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy’s father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they’re planning to do on the date. Bobby tells him that they’ll probably go to the malt shop or a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue’s father suggests, “Why … Read more
A lawyer is settling accounts with his client. “Let’s do it this way, “he says, “Pay me $5000 now and then $400 a month. “ “Gee, “the client says, “I feel like I’m paying for a car. “ Lawyer replies, “You are! And it’s a nice one too. “ This joke is included in the … Read more
While walking along a beach, a man finds a lamp and rubs it off. A genie appears and offers to grant the man one wish. The man replies, “What about three?” The genie retorts “Look pal, I’m in a hurry, I’ve been cooped up in that damn lamp for… “ “OK, alright” the guy responds. … Read more