Sees Van Gogh
A bloke walks into a pub and sees Van Gogh standing at the bar. ‘Hi Van, can I get you a drink?’ ‘No, thanks, I got one ear.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
foodie
Bikers Extinguishes
Three tough-looking bikers stomp into a truck stop where a grizzled old-timer is having breakfast. One of the bikers extinguishes his cigarette in the old guy’s pancakes. The second biker spits a wad of chewing tobacco into his coffee. The third biker dumps the whole plate onto the floor. Without a word of protest, the … Read more
Flight Control Center
The operator in the Flight Control Center asks the pilot:”Who is landing here?” The young and foolish pilot wanted to sound cool on the aviation frequencies and Instead of making any official requests to the tower, decided to make a joke: “Guess who, “- he asks. The controller in the Flight Control Center turns off … Read more
Lion Cub
Mother Lion: Junior, what are you doing? Lion Cub: I’m chasing a hunter around a tree. Mother Lion: How many times must I tell you not to play with your food? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Devil Answered Alright
A man died and went to hell and was sitting on a stone looking very depressed. A devil came up to him and asked: “Why the glum look, man?” The man replied: “Well I just died and now I’m in hell. “ But the devil just smiled and said: “Don’t feel bad, it’s not a … Read more
Salesman May
A lady walks into a fancy jewelry store. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person … Read more
Deep Breath Bowed
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, “Dear, would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say, “replied the little girl, shyly. “Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie, “the woman said. Her daughter took a deep … Read more
Chinese Proverb
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light … Read more
Water Honey
“‘Darling, would you save me if I jumped into the water?” “Honey, if I say yes, will you jump?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The Corn Flakes Puzzle
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get started. “ Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The blonde says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a rooster. … Read more