Doc, says Steve, “I want to be castrated. “ “What on Earth for?” “It’s something I’ve been thinking about for a long time. If you don’t do it, I’ll just go to another doctor. “ “OK, but it’s against my better judgment. “ Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital … Read more
Man goes to the doctors and says “Doctor, I can’t stop my hands from shaking !” Doctor replies “Do you drink much ?” Man says “no, I spill most of it !” Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. “My name is Billy. … Read more
One of Hitler’s assistants says to him one day, “Sir, we’re mining too many useless ores. “ Hitler replies, “Well, mine less. “ A grammar nazi then bursts through the door and shouts, “Mine FEWER!” Hitler looks up and asks, “Yes?” A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living. … Read more
“Doctor, I have a problem… “ “What’s your problem?” “I pee in my sleep, every night!” “Why?” “Oh, well… Every night, a little dwarf visits me in my sleep and asks me; “Did we pee today?”. “And, that’s it? The solution is so simple. . Listen to me! If the little dwarf comes again you’re … Read more
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, “Your … Read more
A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots. “ Bartender says, “You want them both now or one at a time?” The guy says, “Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here, “and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of … Read more
Guy takes his wife to the Doctor… The Doc says, “Well, it’s either Alzheimer’s disease or AIDS. “ “What do you mean?” The guy says, “You can’t tell the difference?” “Yeah, the two look a lot alike in the early stages… Tell you what. . Drive her way out into the country, kick her out … Read more
A newlywed couple arrives in their sumptuous honeymoon suite, and it turns out they are both virgins. Brought up the old traditional way, neither of them really knows how to have sex. So after about half a painful hour of abortive attempts to get it on, an idea occurs to the husband. “OK, honey, “he … Read more
A lawyer with insomnia consults his doctor. ‘Which side is it best to lie on?’ he asks. ‘The side that pays your fee,’ replies the doctor. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A man went to the doctor, “Doctor, every night in my dream I am playing soccer. “ Doctor says, “Take these pills, they will help you sleep better. “ The man said, “I can’t take them, tonight is the final game. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more