A Texan is visiting Australia for the first time. He sees a sheep and starts laughing. He says to his Australian guide “Oh, at home in Texas, sheep are twice as big!” He then sees a cow and bursts “Puff, in Texas, our cows are much, much bigger!” The conversation almost dies but then the … Read more
Ralph and Norris went bear hunting in Montana. While Ralph stayed in the cabin, Norris went out looking for a bear. He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it. The enraged bear charged toward him. Norris’ rifle jammed, so he dropped it and started running for the cabin as fast … Read more
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, “Hey. “ The horse says, “You read my mind, buddy. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
The Lone Ranger is captured by outlaws. They are definitely planning on killing him, but they decide to grant him three final requests. Upon hearing this the Lone Ranger says that he will only tell his requests to his noble steed, Silver. The bad guys agree and the Lone Ranger leans close into the horse’s … Read more
The bank robbers tied and gagged the employees in one room and the manager in his office. On their way out they noticed the manager was making desperate noises to catch their attention. Moved by curiosity, one of the burglars loosened the gag and heard the man’s plea, “Please take the books too, I’m $4200 … Read more
Customer: This loaf is lovely and warm! Baker: So it should be ma’am. The cat’s been sitting on it all morning! This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two cowboys are riding their horses together on the prairie. They come upon a big pile of manure. The first cowboy goes to the second, “I will bet you a $1000 that I can eat all of this crap. “ The second cowboy agrees, so the first cowboy eats the entire pile and wins $1000. … Read more
Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the others. The first man ordered his steak “rare — red rare. “ The second said, “Just pass mine through the flames and singe it a little. I want to see blood dripping out of it. “ Not to be outdone, … Read more
A bodybuilder picks up a woman at a bar and takes her home with him. He takes off his shirt and the woman says “What a great chest you have. “ The bodybuilder tells her “That’s 150 lbs. of dynamite. “ He takes off his pants and the woman says “What massive calves you have”, … Read more
A man walks into a bar with his pet alligator. He asks the bartender, “Do you serve lawyers here?” “Yes, we do!” “Good. Give me a beer, and I’ll have a lawyer for my alligator. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.