A guy driving a small car pulled up to a stop light next to a luxury car. He rolled down his window and shouted to the other driver, “Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a Hi-Fi sound system in your car? I’ve got a Hi-Fi sound system in my car!” The driver of … Read more
Two rednecks, Jake and Bubba, were walking through a pasture. Jake sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Bubba “I’m gonna get me some of that”! Jake goes over and sticks the sheep’s back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He … Read more
One morning the lion is feeling especially ferocious. He sauntered over to a monkey swinging in a tree and roared, “Who’s the king of this jungle?” The monkey scampered down from the tree, bows to the lion and stammered, “Wh. . wh… why you are Mr. Lion. “ A few minutes later, the lion comes … Read more
The train was about to pull out of the station. A young man ran towards it and managed to throw his bag in and climb aboard just in time. A fellow passenger looked at him and said, “Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a … Read more
Two friends are talking over lunch on an outdoor patio. “So what are you doing for summer vacation?” one asks. The other one replies, “I want to go to Italy again, like last year. “ The first asks, “Wow! You went to Italy last year?” The other answers, “No, but I wanted to. “ This … Read more
A young woman walks into a bar and sits down next to a man wearing a cowboy hat. “Excuse me sir but are you a real cowboy?” The man says, “Well I have a ranch and horses. I go to rodeos and raise cattle and other livestock, so yes I suppose I’m a real cowboy. … Read more
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all, “the lawyer said as he … Read more
A lawyer went duck hunting for the first time in Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of the fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator … Read more
During a sixth grade sex education class, the young professor asked, “What happens to a young woman during puberty?” There was no reply from her students, so she rephrased the question. “What happens to young women as they mature?” One girl raised her hand and answered, “We start carrying purses?” This joke is included in … Read more