The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00a.m. she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. … Read more
A guy walked into his friend’s office. He found his friend sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. “Hey, what’s up with you?, “he asked. “Oh, it’s my wife, “replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me. “ “Well, nothing wrong in that, “he said, “Is she blonde or brunette?” “Neither. He’s … Read more
A man left for work one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spending all his wages. When he finally got home on Sunday night, he was confronted by his very angry wife. After two hours, she stopped nagging and said, “How would you like … Read more
Three guys compare their levels of intoxication from a party the previous night. The first guy says, “Man, I was so drunk last night, I went home and blew chunks. “ The second guy says, “I was so drunk last night, I woke up this morning on my front porch. “ The third guy says, … Read more
A man comes home late one night, drunk. “Where have you been?” asks his wife. “I was in the Golden Bar! They have golden chairs, golden glasses, golden beer, and a golden urinal!” This sounds awfully suspicious to the wife, so she calls the Golden Bar. “Do you have golden chairs?” “Yes. “ “Do you … Read more
Seventy-five-year-old Marvin goes to the local mall and tries to find a gift for his wife for Women’s Day. Upon passing a lingerie store, Marvin realizes that his wife has never bought any lingerie in her life. He gets the idea to buy his wife something sexy to make her feel good and young. Marvin … Read more
A man is watching TV supping the fourth can from his six pack. “Don’t go”, he suddenly yells at the screen. “Do not enter that building. Turn around and walk away. Aargh, you stupid man. “ His wife calls from the kitchen, “What are you watching, honey?” “Our wedding video, “he bravely answers. This joke … Read more
A fellow decides to take off early from work and go drinking. He stays until the bar closes at 2am, at which time he is extremely drunk. When he enters his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone, so he takes off his shoes and starts tip-toeing up the stairs. Half-way up the stairs, he … Read more
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they undressed for bed, the husband, who was a big burly man, tossed his pants to his bride and said, “here put these on. “ She put them on, and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I … Read more