A couple goes out to dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. On the way home, she notices a tear in his eye and asks if he’s getting sentimental because they’re celebrating 50 wonderful years together. He replies, “No, I was thinking about the time before we got married. Your father threatened me with a … Read more
Arnold and his wife were cleaning out the attic one day when he came across a ticket from the local shoe repair shop. The date stamped on the ticket showed that it was over eleven years old. They both laughed and tried to remember which of them might have forgotten to pick up a pair … Read more
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant … Read more
Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down. “ Husband says: “It looks like he’s … Read more
Mr. Johnson’s wife of 50 years suggested they take a cruise: “We could go somewhere for a week, and make wild love like we did when we were young. “ He thought it over and agreed. He went to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant. Upon returning … Read more
Waiter: “How do you like your steak, sir?” Sir: “Like winning an argument with my wife. “ Waiter: “Rare it is. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time. “How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms and died. “ “Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?” “He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died. “ “Oh, … Read more
Wife: “Give me some money. I want to buy a bra. “ Husband: “Why? You have nothing to put in it!” Wife: “You wear shorts!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Husband knocks on the door at midnight. Wife: “Go back where you came from!” Husband: “Open the door or I throw myself in the swimming pool!” Wife: “Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care? So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a … Read more
A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other. The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong. “Well, “replies the man, “when we finished making love on the first night, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking. “ “Oh, you shouldn’t worry about that too much, … Read more