Jake was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn’t take it any longer, and told him, “Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!” “Really?” … Read more
Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking. “ “Really, “said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back. “ “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back. “ “Yes we can. I’ve … Read more
One of the two adult female friends got married and went on honeymoon to Hawaii. On return the curious girl asked her friend, “What sightseeing places did you go to in Hawaii and what did you see?” The honeymoon girl explained, “For seven days, I saw only the fan on the ceiling of the room … Read more
Drinking all night at a bar a man stumbles to the restroom to throw up. He doesn’t make it in time and pukes all over the front of his shirt. As the drunk returned to the bar the bartender asked: “What the hell happened?” The drunk is very upset explaining to the bartender: “My wife’s … Read more
Two men are having a drink together. One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married. What about you?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says the other. ‘What was her maiden name?’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A king wants his daughter to have a husband so he puts up a flier. The first guy comes and the king puts green glitter on his daughter’s private part. The next morning the king checks the guy’s private part and there’s green glitter all over it. More and more guys come along and the … Read more
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive’s wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, “… and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair. “ This … Read more
A young guy goes to a big “everything under one roof” department store looking for a job. The Manager says, “Do you have any sales experience?” The guy says, “Yeah. I was a salesman before. “ Well, the boss liked the boy and gave him the job. “You start tomorrow. “I’ll come down after we … Read more
A couple wants a divorce, but first they must decide who will be the main guardian of their child. The jury asks both the man and woman for a reason why they should be the one to keep the child. So the jury asks the woman first. She says, “Well I carried this child around … Read more
A man goes to see a wizard and says “Can you lift a curse that was put on me 30 years ago ?” “Maybe, “says the wizard, “If you can remember the exact words of the curse ?” The man replies without hesitation “I pronounce you man and wife … “ This joke is included … Read more