Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Weekend Dan
April 5, 2026
Dan staggers into the shower. He notices that his d**k is bright orange. He feels normal, but he’s concerned and goes to the doctor. After a thorough examination, the doctor says, “You seem to be fine and all of the tests are normal. Did you do anything out of the ordinary over the weekend?” Dan
Yoo Hoo Shirley
April 5, 2026
Sophie and Shirley, two elderly widows in a Florida adult community, are curious about the latest arrival in their building — a quiet, nice looking gentleman who keeps to himself. Shirley says, “Sophie, you know I’m shy. Why don’t you go over to him at the pool and find out a little about him. He
Eat Grass Well
April 5, 2026
A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?” “We don’t have any money for food, “the poor man replied. “We have to eat
Warm Blankets
April 5, 2026
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they’d better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on
Pure Dynamite
April 5, 2026
Husband admiring his body in the mirror says to wife “Look at that, 14 stones of pure dynamite !” Wife replies “yeah, shame about the 2 inch fuse… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Shark Assured
April 5, 2026
A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. “Darling, it was just a shark, “assured his wife when he came to. “You’ve got to stop imagining that there are lawyers everywhere. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light