Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Damn Bank

Damn Bank

April 5, 2026

A guy walks into a bank and says to the teller at the window, “I want to open a fuckin’ checking account” To which the lady replied, “I beg your pardon, what did you say?” “Listen up dammit, I said I want to open a fuckin’ checking account right now. “ “Sir, I’m sorry but

Wine Please

Wine Please

April 5, 2026

A man enters a store and says: “5 liters of wine, please. “ “Did you bring a container for this? “ “You’re speaking to it. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Great Policeman Joke

Great Policeman Joke

April 5, 2026

A man was recently flying to New York. He decided to strike up a conversation with his seatmate. “I’ve got a great policeman joke. Would you like to hear it?” “I should let you know first that I am a policeman. “ “That’s OK. I’ll tell it to you really slowly!” This joke is included

Drunk Chortled He’s

Drunk Chortled He’s

April 5, 2026

A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender, concerned because it was so cold, went to check on her. When he looked inside the car, he saw the drunk’s buddy, Pete, and his girlfriend going at it in the

Nurses Rush

Nurses Rush

April 5, 2026

One evening, a family brings their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and leaves her, hoping she will be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe her, feed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems okay but after a

Car Client

Car Client

April 5, 2026

Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light