Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Barber Refused Payment

Barber Refused Payment

April 5, 2026

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, “you do God’s work. “ The next morning the barber found a dozen bibles at the door to his shop. A policeman came to the barber for a haircut, and again the

Noticed Several Machetes

Noticed Several Machetes

April 5, 2026

A driver was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. As the officer was writing the ticket, she noticed several machetes in the car. “What are those for?” she asked suspiciously. “I’m a juggler, “the man replied. “I use those in my act.’ “Well, show me, “the officer demanded. So he got out the

Group Meets Again

Group Meets Again

April 5, 2026

A group of 40 year old buddies discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the “Restaurant am Fluss” because the waitresses there have low cut blouses and nice breasts. 10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they

Extensive Tests

Extensive Tests

April 5, 2026

A man returns home from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve

Edward Hey Buddy

Edward Hey Buddy

April 5, 2026

Edward walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him and approaches. “Can I help you, fella?”, asks the cop. “Yesssh, ssshombody stol my car!” Edward replies. The cop asks, “Okay, where was your car the last time you saw it?”. “It

Yeaaaah Magician

Yeaaaah Magician

April 5, 2026

A magician comes to a seniors’ home for entertainment in the afternoon: “Aaaaand? Is everybody heeere?” Seniors, enthusiastically, “Yeaaaah!” Magician, winking, “But not for looooong… !” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light