Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
These Pills
April 5, 2026
Patient: “Doctor, Doctor… I can’t stop stealing things”. Doctor: “Take these pills for a week. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have an electric car”. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Rescue Workers
April 5, 2026
At the scene of a terrible road accident, a guy is laying sprawled out on the road, seemingly stone dead. The rescue workers are all around him, but can do nothing to resuscitate him. Suddenly, a young woman in a short miniskirt forces her way through the crowd. “Let me at him, I can help
Hurts Doesn’t
April 5, 2026
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, “Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?” The wife replies, “Cut it off and shove it up his arse!” The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the
Hairiest Armpits
April 5, 2026
This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, “Bartender, I would like a drink. “ There’s an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, “Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink. “ She
Husband’s Blue Eyes
April 5, 2026
At a men’s clothing store, a customer asked the shop assistant to help her pick out a tie that would make her husband’s blue eyes stand out. “Ma’am, “he explained, “any tie will make blue eyes stand out if you tie it tight enough. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes.
Cashier Yes
April 5, 2026
A guy in a supermarket goes up to the cashier and places two cans of dog food on the counter. The cashier asks, “Do you have a dog sir?” “Yes, it’s at home, “replies the man. “To be able to sell you the dog food sir, I must see the dog. That is store policy,
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light