Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Slow Painful Death

Slow Painful Death

April 5, 2026

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death. “ He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?” This joke is included in the Black Book

Shouldn’t Wear

Shouldn’t Wear

April 5, 2026

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit. “And why not, darling?”, the father asked. You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. “ This joke is included in

Door Again Later

Door Again Later

April 5, 2026

A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door. She goes to the door, opens it and sees a man standing there. He asks the lady, “Do you have a Vagina?” She slams the door in disgust. The next morning she hears a knock at the door, it’s the same man

Which Johnny

Which Johnny

April 5, 2026

Teacher asks Little Johnny to use the word ‘definitely’ in a sentence. Little Johnny replies, “Teacher, do farts have lumps in them?” The Teacher says, “Of course not Johnny, “ To which Johnny replies, “Then I have definitely shit my pants then… “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can

Voice Answered

Voice Answered

April 5, 2026

Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: “Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you. “ The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him. The astonished man continued walking to the crosswalk. The voice shouted, “Stop! If you take one more step, a

Student Gandhi

Student Gandhi

April 5, 2026

Teacher: What happened in 1869? Student: Mahatma Gandhi was born. Teacher: What happened in 1873? Student: Gandhi was four years old This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light