Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Swim Play Tennis
April 5, 2026
Three prisoners are locked in a cell. One takes out a harmonica and says, ‘At least I can play a little music and pass the time.’ The second prisoner pull out a pack of cards and says, ‘We can play games too.’ The third man pulls out a packet of tampons. ‘Those aren’t much use,’
Johnny Pulls Down
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny and a little girl are playing. Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, “I have one of these and you don’t. “ The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again. Once again Little Johnny points
Yell Albert
April 5, 2026
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert. “ A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert. “
They’re Stupid
April 5, 2026
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, “Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!” After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, “Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?” “No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by
Johnny Raised
April 5, 2026
The teacher wrote on the blackboard: “I ain’t had no fun in months. “ Then asked the class, “How should I correct this sentence?” Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, “Get yourself a new boyfriend. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Dad’s Bedroom
April 5, 2026
Little Johnny walks into his dad’s bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed. Little Johnny asks curiously, “What are you doing, Dad?” His father quickly replies, “I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed. “ Little
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light