Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Shoes Off
April 5, 2026
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
God Forgive
April 5, 2026
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says “God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!” The second nun says “Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!” This joke is included in
Recruit Doesn’t Quite
April 5, 2026
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they’re at sea for so long. “Let me show
Sweden Doesn’t
April 5, 2026
A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that the next time that the professor starts with these kinds of jokes they will all leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the plan. In the next lecture, in the beginning of the
Crew Members
April 5, 2026
There once was a pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. “It’s in case I get shot. I don’t want you crew members to see blood
Redhead Touches
April 5, 2026
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner. The brunette looks at it. “That’s definitely cum, “she says. The redhead touches it. “That’s definitely cum, “she says. The blonde takes a little taste. “That’s definitely cum, but nobody in our building. “
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light