Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Shoes Off
April 5, 2026
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage.
God Forgive
April 5, 2026
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says “God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!” The second nun says “Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!” This joke is included in
Recruit Doesn’t Quite
April 5, 2026
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they’re at sea for so long. “Let me show
Sweden Doesn’t
April 5, 2026
A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that the next time that the professor starts with these kinds of jokes they will all leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the plan. In the next lecture, in the beginning of the
Crew Members
April 5, 2026
There once was a pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. “It’s in case I get shot. I don’t want you crew members to see blood
Sperm Bank
April 5, 2026
A man and a woman meet in an elevator. “Where are you heading today?” the man asks. “I’m going down to give blood. “ “How much do you get paid for giving blood?” “About $20. “ “Wow, “says the man, “I’m going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100. “The woman angrily
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light