Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Large Dog Peed
April 5, 2026
During camouflage training a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. “You simpleton!” the officer barked. “Don’t you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?” “Yes sir, “the soldier answered apologetically.
Plastic Pieces
April 5, 2026
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was
Scottish Sheep
April 5, 2026
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, “How odd. Scottish sheep are black. “ “No, no, no!” says the physicist. “Only some Scottish sheep are black. “ The mathematician rolls his eyes
Tame Alligator
April 5, 2026
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It’s about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, “Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a bitch outta here. It’s going to bite one of my customers and I’m going to get sued. “ The guy says, “No no no, it’s a
Runner Runners Breathlessly
April 5, 2026
A guy was walking along the street when he saw a crowd of people running towards him. He stopped one of the runners and asked, “What’s happening?” The runner replied breathlessly, “A lion has escaped from the zoo. “ “Oh my, which way is it heading?” “Well you don’t think we are chasing it, do
Switched Cocks
April 5, 2026
A man sat at a local bar and said, “This is a special day, I’m celebrating. “ “What a coincidence, “said the woman next to him. “I’m celebrating, too, “she replied, clinking glasses with him. “What are you celebrating?” “I’m a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light