Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Medicine I’ll Phone

Medicine I’ll Phone

April 5, 2026

A man in the dress business called a friend, also in the dress business, and asked how things were going. “Couldn’t be better, “answered the friend. “Even with the recession, our sales are up 40 percent. My son, the lawyer, just won a big case. And his fee was a million dollars. My other son,

Priest Blessed

Priest Blessed

April 5, 2026

During the French revolution, hundreds of people were guillotined. One day, three men were led up to die. One was a lawyer, one was a doctor, and the third was an engineer. The lawyer was to die first. He was led to the guillotine, the attending priest blessed him, and he knelt with his head

Can’t Understand

Can’t Understand

April 5, 2026

Son: Dad, what is an idiot? Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me? Son: No. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order

Burnt Down

Burnt Down

April 5, 2026

A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, “Bill, your house burnt down!” So he runs outside, but then he thinks, “I don’t have a house, “so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of

Peggy Sue Rushes

Peggy Sue Rushes

April 5, 2026

It’s the summer of 1960, and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy’s father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they’re planning to do on the date. Bobby tells him that they’ll probably go to the malt shop or a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue’s father suggests, “Why

Class Fell Silent

Class Fell Silent

April 5, 2026

Little Johnny’s first grade class was playing “Name That Animal. “The teacher held up a picture of a cat and asked, “What animal is this?” “A cat!” said Suzy. “Good job. Now, what’s this animal?” “A dog!” said Ricky. “Good. Now what animal is this?” she asked, holding up a picture of a deer. The

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light