Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Hard Macy

Hard Macy

April 5, 2026

Macy went to the doctor to see if he can help her to stop smoking . The doctor suggested that every time she felt like smoking, she should reach for a chocolate bar. It didn’t work, because no matter how hard Macy tried she couldn’t get the chocolate bar to light. This joke is included

Underway Preparation Exercise

Underway Preparation Exercise

April 5, 2026

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship underway. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men. The ship steamed out of the channel and soon the port was far behind.

Duplicate Key

Duplicate Key

April 5, 2026

“What did you buy your husband for his birthday?” “Well, knowing he wanted a journal, I bought him one that was locked since he’s so particular about his notes. “ “And surely you bought something for yourself too?” “Oh, of course! I made myself a duplicate key. “ This joke is included in the Black

Sergeant Williams Report

Sergeant Williams Report

April 5, 2026

The Captain called the Sergeant in. “Sarge, I just got a telegram. Private Jones’ mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me. “ The Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. “Listen up, men, “says the Sergeant. “Williams, report to the mess hall for

Cell Phone

Cell Phone

April 5, 2026

Husband: “Call 911 quickly, I think I’m having a heart attack!” The wife picked up his cell phone to call. She said, “Give me your password!” Husband: “Never mind, I’m feeling much better now. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Great Sex

Great Sex

April 5, 2026

There is a fellow who is talking to his buddy and says, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants. I’m stumped. “ His buddy says, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light