Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Wow Forty
April 5, 2026
An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, “Why did you do that?” … … “Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun, “the elephant said. “Wow, forty years ago!
Battery Judge Officer
April 5, 2026
A man was arraigned for assault and battery and brought before the judge. Judge: “What is your name, occupation, and what are you charged with?” Prisoner: “My name is Sparky, I am an electrician and I’m charged with battery. “ Judge: “Officer, put this guy in a dry cell. “ This joke is included in
Arms Followed
April 5, 2026
Daughter: “Mommy, where did I come from?” Mom: “Sweetheart, you came out from Mommy’s body. “ Daughter: “How exactly?” Mom: “Well, your head came out first, then your arms, followed by your legs. “ Daughter: “How did you assemble them?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from
Judge Ordered Taylor
April 5, 2026
Taylor was desperate for business, and was happy to be appointed by the court to defend an indigent defendant. The judge ordered Taylor, “You are to confer with the defendant in the hallway, and give him the best legal advice you can. “ After a time, Taylor re-entered the courtroom alone. When the judge asked
Buy Babies
April 5, 2026
Six-year-old Annie returns home from school and says that today she had her first embarrassing moment at school. Her mother, very interested, asks, “Oh, how did it go?” “I nearly died of shame!” she answers. “Sam from down the street says the stork brings babies. Sally next door said you can buy babies at the
Lawyers Well
April 5, 2026
A lawyer was talking to his teenage son about his future career. “Why do you want to be a doctor instead of a lawyer?” he asked. “What’s wrong with lawyers?” “Well, Dad, “explained the boy, “I really want to help people. And when was the last time you heard anybody stand up in a crowd
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light