Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Bar Counter

Bar Counter

April 5, 2026

This guy was drinking at the bar counter. Every time he took a drink he would pull something from his pocket and look at it. Eventually the curiosity of the bartender got the better of him and he asked the guy what he was looking at. The guy replied: I’ve got a picture of my

Pay Thirty Bucks

Pay Thirty Bucks

April 5, 2026

A woman took her dog to the parlor for a haircut and asked what it would cost. Being told that it would cost her $50, she was outraged. “I only pay thirty bucks for my own haircut!” she said. The groomer replied, “That may be true. But then you don’t bite, do you?” This joke

Indian Objected

Indian Objected

April 5, 2026

A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian. “What is it made of?” she asked. “Alligator teeth, “the Indian replied. “I suppose, “she said patronizingly, “that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us. “ “Oh no, “the Indian objected. “Anybody can open an oyster. “ This joke is

Tripped Irishman Guess

Tripped Irishman Guess

April 5, 2026

An Irishman had just walked into a bar when he tripped over and fell. He got up and said, “Guess I can call it a day. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Written Underneath

Written Underneath

April 5, 2026

A man in a bar visited the men’s room, leaving his drink on the bar. On his return he found that someone had drunk it. The next time he left a notice beside his drink. “I spat in this”. On his return he found it written underneath “So did I”. This joke is included in

Dangerous Dog

Dangerous Dog

April 5, 2026

Upon entering a little country store, a stranger noticed a sign reading, “Danger! Beware of Dog” posted on the glass door. Inside, he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, “Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?” “Yep, that’s him,

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light