Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Tap Underneath

Tap Underneath

April 5, 2026

A sexy girl looks at the big beer belly of a man and asks: “Is that Carlsberg or Tuborg?” “There‘s a tap underneath it – why don‘t you taste it yourself?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Takes Off

Takes Off

April 5, 2026

A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff. Suddenly a woman near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt. She proceeds to yell, “Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!” She

Dog Remarkable Snorts

Dog Remarkable Snorts

April 5, 2026

A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case. “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice. “Anything else?” The dog points to some pork chops and barks four times. So the butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four pork

Maybe Cousins Opposite

Maybe Cousins Opposite

April 5, 2026

In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around. “ A seal says to a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate. “ A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I

Men You’d

Men You’d

April 5, 2026

As he stood at the bar for the first time with his son, the proud father said, “Now is a good time to talk about some of the facts of life. Remember. a man that drinks beyond his capacity is no gentleman. To enjoy life you must observe a happy medium. Have a drink occasionally,

Baby-Bottle Nipple Business

Baby-Bottle Nipple Business

April 5, 2026

A fellow was going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine made a loud ‘hiss-pop! ‘ noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold, “explained the guide. “The popping sound is a needle

Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light