Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Wrong I’ve
April 5, 2026
A guy is walking along the beach, when he sees a woman with no arms and no legs lying on the sand, crying. He walks over to her and asks what’s wrong. “I’ve never been hugged before, “she says. Thinking this is a simple enough request, the man hugs her. She soon starts crying again.
Inches Less
April 5, 2026
A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’ She replies, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Ice Cream
April 5, 2026
A Husband comes home with a half gallon of Ice Cream. He asked his wife if she wanted some. “How hard is it?” she asked. “About as hard as my dick, “he replies. To which the woman replied, “OK, then pour me some!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can
Three-Course Meal
April 5, 2026
A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, “I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!” The Madam is astonished. “But sir, for that kind of money you could have one
Exclaimed Major
April 5, 2026
A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956, “was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!”
Wasn’t Even Mentioned
April 5, 2026
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: “The doctor said that my breast is like a 20 year old girl’ breast. “ Husband replied: “Did he say something about your 45 year old hanging to the floor ass?” “No”, she said. “Your name wasn’t even mentioned. “ This joke is
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light