Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Asshole Bleached

Asshole Bleached

April 5, 2026

Two women were having lunch together, and discussing the merits of cosmetic surgery. The first woman says, “I need to be honest with you, I’m getting a boob job. “ The second woman says, “Oh that’s nothing, I’m thinking of having my asshole bleached!” To which the first replies, “Whoa, I just can’t picture your

Operation Needed Didn’t

Operation Needed Didn’t

April 5, 2026

Doctor: “Would you have the money if I said you needed an operation?” Patient: “Would you say I needed an operation if you thought I didn’t have the money?” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Nuns Pleaded Please

Nuns Pleaded Please

April 5, 2026

The wise old Mother Superior was dying in a monastery hidden in the mountains’ hills. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received

He’s Done Poof

He’s Done Poof

April 5, 2026

A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?” Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I

Eye Named Brown

Eye Named Brown

April 5, 2026

Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye? This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Mailman Laughs

Mailman Laughs

April 5, 2026

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. “Wow Bob, looks like you guys

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Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light