Humor , distilled.
Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Shallow End
April 5, 2026
A drunk falls into one of the fountains in Trafalgar Square. Floundering around, he looks up and sees Nelson standing on his column. ‘Don’t jump!’ he shouts. ‘This is the shallow end!’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Helpful Suggested
April 5, 2026
Patrick, a teenager , worked part time in a hardware store. One day a man came in to buy hooks for hanging plants. But there were only two hooks left in the gold color that he needed. Patrick, trying to be helpful, suggested, “Could you maybe use the silver or the white instead?” The customer
Electric Company
April 5, 2026
A woman goes to her bank with a cheque from her husband. The cashier tells her it has to be endorsed, so she writes on the back, ‘My husband is a wonderful man.’ A worker goes to his boss and says, ‘You have to give me a raise. There are three other companies after me.’
Arrested Jerry
April 5, 2026
Jerry is charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz, and after a long trial, the jury acquits him. Later that day Jerry comes back to speak to the judge that tried his case. ‘Your Honour,’ he says. ‘I want to get out a warrant for that dirty lawyer of mine.’ ‘Why?’ asks the judge. ‘He won
Clerk I’d
April 5, 2026
An engineer goes along to the Patent Office with some of his new designs. He says to the clerk, “I’d like to register my new invention. It’s a folding bottle. “ “OK, “says the clerk. “What do you call it?” “A fottle, replies the inventor. “ “A fottle? That’s a stupid! Can’t you think of
Sunday Caddy
April 5, 2026
The Golfer asked his Caddy, “Hey boy, do you think it is a sin to play golf on Sunday? Caddy replied, “The way you play, Sir, its a crime any day of the week!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light