Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Official Act

Official Act

April 5, 2026

A rookie police officer was assigned to ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came over the car’s radio telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said, “Let’s

Cop Stopped

Cop Stopped

April 5, 2026

A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn. The cop asked, “Can you explain why you’re out at this hour?” “If I could, “the drunk said, “I’d be home by now!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Boxer Counting Insomnia

Boxer Counting Insomnia

April 5, 2026

A boxer goes to a doctor complaining of insomnia. ‘Have you tried counting sheep?’ asks the doctor. ‘It doesn’t work,’ replies the boxer. ‘Every time I get to nine, I stand up.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Eighty Percent

Eighty Percent

April 5, 2026

Two women are talking. ‘You know,’ says one. ‘Eighty percent of men think the best way to end an argument is to make love.’ ‘Well,’ says the other. ‘That will certainly revolutionize the game of hockey!’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Penalty Against England

Penalty Against England

April 5, 2026

A man arrives at the Pearly Gates and St. Peter asks him if he’s done any good. The man says no. So St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery. The man says, “I was refereeing a match in London between England and Germany. The score was 0-0 and there was

Forehead True

Forehead True

April 5, 2026

A man goes to his doctor after losing a lot of weight. “I feel great, but I have a problem, doctor. I was so fat beforehand that my skin has stretched and stayed that long. Is there anything you can give me?” “Hmm, short of plastic surgery, there is only one alternative. Please take off

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Treding Jokes

The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.

Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light