Humor , distilled.
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Latest Jokes
Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh
Weekend Retreat
April 5, 2026
A lawyer buys a farm as a weekend retreat. While walking round his new property he looks down and sees that his feet are in the middle of a huge cowpat. The lawyer starts yelling, ‘Oh my God! Help me, help me!’ His wife runs up and asks what’s the matter. The lawyer points to
Off Alzheimer Granny
April 5, 2026
A third old woman, full of happiness, asks her granddaughter; “My sweety, remind me please. . What’s the name of that German guy that blew my mind off… ?” “Alzheimer, granny!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Drop Off Otherwise
April 5, 2026
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter, ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one has to drop off, otherwise they are all going to fall. They were not able to choose that person, but then the woman made a
Clean Glass
April 5, 2026
Two women walked into a restaurant, the first one asked for tea. The second also asks for tea. “And make sure the glass is clean, “she tells the waiter. When the waiter returns with the two glasses of tea he asks, “Which one of you asked for the clean glass?” This joke is included in
Flight Attendants
April 5, 2026
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was buckled in and ready. “All set back here, Captain, “came the reply, “except the lawyers
Shawn O’brian Grew
April 5, 2026
Two Irishmen, Patrick Murphy and Shawn O’Brian grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying. While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his buddy, Shawn, “O’Brian, come ‘ere. I ‘ave a request for ye. “ Shawn walked to his friend’s bedside and kneels. “Shawny ole boy, we’ve been
Treding Jokes
The most popular jokes currently circulating the database. Guaranteed to provide an immediate return on your procrastination investment.
Chinese Proverb
April 5, 2026
James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light