Humor , distilled.

Discover jokes , memes and funny quotes to brighten your day.

Latest Jokes

Welcome to Jokes.ltd, the Internet’s leading repository for carefully distilled humor. In a world cluttered with endless feeds and overwhelming noise, we recognized the need for a streamlined, highly efficient platform dedicated entirely to making you laugh

Officer Arrives

Officer Arrives

April 5, 2026

A police officer arrives at the scene of an accident to find a car smashed into a tree. The officer rushes over to the vehicle and asks the driver, “Are you seriously hurt?” “How should I know?” the driver responds. “I’m not a lawyer!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You

Senior Partner

Senior Partner

April 5, 2026

A young lawyer, defending a businessman in a lawsuit, feared he was losing the case and asked his senior partner if he should send a box of cigars to the judge to curry favor. The senior partner was horrified. “The judge is an honorable man, “he said, “If you do that, I guarantee you’ll lose

Boats Backwards Murphy

Boats Backwards Murphy

April 5, 2026

Paddy asks Murphy, ‘Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?” Murphy replies, “If they fell forwards they’d still be on the fucking boat!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Discovered Evidence Judge

Discovered Evidence Judge

April 5, 2026

Lawyer: “Your Honor, I wish to appeal my client’s case on the basis of newly discovered evidence. “Judge: “And what is the nature of the new evidence?” Lawyer: “I have discovered that my client still has money. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Shop Assistant

Shop Assistant

April 5, 2026

Shop assistant: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Shop assistant: You didn’t even try it on? Psychic: I’m a medium. This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.

Fourth Nun Skips

Fourth Nun Skips

April 5, 2026

Four nuns are in line to go into heaven. God asks the first nun if she has ever sinned. She says, “Well, I’ve seen a penis. “So God puts holy water on her eyes and lets her enter. He asks the second nun the same thing and she says, “I’ve held a penis, “so he

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Chinese Proverb

Chinese Proverb

April 5, 2026

James was sitting in a Chinese restaurant when it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: “You all need to start clapping!” “What a weirdo, “James thought. Anyway everyone started to clap and the lights came on! James said: “How did that happen?” The waiter replied: “Old Chinese proverb, many hands make light