Jokes Ltd 
A woman arrives home from work and her husband notices she’s wearing a diamond necklace. He asks his wife, “Where did you get that necklace?” She replies, “I won it in a raffle at work. Go get my bath ready while I start dinner. “ The next day, the woman arrives home from work wearing … Read more
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: “Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?” “Of course, I know you Mr. Smith!” says the old woman. I have known you since you were little, and I have … Read more
Two eggs boiling in a pan. One says, “I’ve got a huge crack. “ The other replies, “Stop teasing me, I’m not fucking hard yet. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. … Read more
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them. One nun says “God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!” The second nun says “Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!” This joke is included in … Read more
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they’re at sea for so long. “Let me show … Read more
A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it. So they decided that the next time that the professor starts with these kinds of jokes they will all leave the class as a protest. Somehow the professor heard about the plan. In the next lecture, in the beginning of the … Read more
There once was a pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. “It’s in case I get shot. I don’t want you crew members to see blood … Read more
Brian received a call from a recruitment lady. She said to him: “Sir, I have two openings for you. “ Brian: “Yes I Know. “ *Awkward silence* She: “Asshole” Brian: “I prefer the other one. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader. “ The gas pump, of course, didn’t respond. The younger alien became angry … Read more