Jokes Ltd A woman walks into a police precinct and reports that her husband is missing. When the Sergeant asked her how long her husband’s been missing she says, “Since last winter. “ Astonished, the Sargent asked, “Why did you wait till spring to report him missing?” The woman replies, “Because the landscaping company is asking too … Read more
Little Johnny: “Dad, Is it true? I heard that in some countries where arranged marriage is a custom, a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries!” Father: “Son, that happens everywhere, after marriage you find out everything!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from here.
A shopkeeper goes to the police to say that he has been robbed. A shoplifter came into his shop, he says, opened a packet of biscuits and ate some of them. Then the man just walked out without paying. The police find the man and bring him in. “I’ve done nothing wrong, “he says. “The … Read more
Wife: “Darling, it was such a hard day. Would you tell me the three magical words that always make me so happy?” Husband: “You are right. “ Wife: “Very funny, no, the other ones. “ Husband: “I was wrong. “ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order it from … Read more
A defendant was on trial for murder. There was strong evidence indicating guilt, but there was no corpse. In the defense’s closing statement the lawyer, knowing that his client would probably be convicted, resorted to a trick. “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have a surprise for you all, “the lawyer said as he … Read more
A lawyer is walking along the beach and spots a glass bottle in the sand. When he opens it he discovers a genie inside. Genie: “Sir, I will grant you three wishes, but you must understand that whatever you wish for, every other lawyer in the world will get double. Man: “Hmmm. Okay. First I’d … Read more
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny’s mother says, “Let’s not be too harsh on them… they’re bound to be curious about sex at that age. “ “Curious about sex?” replies Mary’s mother. “He took her appendix out!” … Read more
At an art gallery, a woman and her eleven-year old son were having a tough time choosing between two paintings. They finally chose and went with the autumn themed one. “I see you prefer an autumn scene as opposed to a floral one, “said the gallery owner, who happened to be nearby and witnessed the … Read more
A Duke was hunting in the forest with his men-at-arms and servants when he came across a tree. Upon it, archery targets were painted and smack in the middle of each was an arrow. “Who is this incredibly fine archer?” cried the duke. “I must find him!” After continuing through the forest for a few … Read more
Ten-year-old Tommy greeted his sister’s boyfriend very enthusiastically, “That harmonica you gave me for my birthday is easily the best present I have ever had!” “I’m glad you liked it, “the boyfriend replies. “Oh yeah! Mother gives me a quarter a day not to play it!” This joke is included in the Black Book of … Read more