Jokes Ltd The drunk was floundering down the alley carrying a box with holes on the side. He bumped into a friend who asked, “What do you have in there, pal?” “A mongoose. “ “What for?” “Well, you know how drunk I can get. When I get drunk I see snakes, and I’m scared to death of … Read more
An old lady goes to her doctor and asks for contraceptive tablets, claiming they help her sleep at night. ‘Why would contraceptive pills make you sleep any better than normal?’ asks the doctor. The old lady replies, ‘Because I put them in my granddaughter’s coffee.’ This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. … Read more
The bartender asked a guy sitting at the bar, “What’ll you have? The guy answered, “A scotch, please. “ The bartender handed him the drink and said, “That’ll be $5. “ The guy said, “What are you talking about? I don’t owe you anything for this. “ A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, … Read more
Two men are walking in the desert. They come upon a hole in the ground. One man asks, “How deep is that hole?” The other responds, “I don’t know, throw something in it and see how long it takes to hit the bottom. “ The other man turns around and finds an anvil. He tosses … Read more
In the zoo, a giraffe, talking to a buffalo says, “Yeah, I know. They can totally get out but they choose to hang around. “ A seal says to a walrus, “That’s right. I’ve seen the big hairy one crawling under the bushes outside the gate. “ A woodchuck says to a prairie dog, “I … Read more
A fellow was going on a tour of a factory that produces various latex products. At the first stop, he is shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine made a loud ‘hiss-pop! ‘ noise. “The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold, “explained the guide. “The popping sound is a needle … Read more
One day, the horse became very ill and he called the veterinarian, who said, “Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for three days. I’ll come back on the 3rd day and if he’s not better, we’re going to have to put him to sleep. “ Nearby, the goat listened closely … Read more
Dorothy, the little daughter of a tire salesman, had seen triplets for the first time. “Oh mother, “she cried out upon returning home, “what do you think I saw today?” “I can’t imagine, dear, what?” “A lady had twins, and a spare!” This joke is included in the Black Book of Jokes. You can order … Read more
One day a man went to an auction. While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted this bird, so he got caught up in the bidding. He kept on bidding but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher. Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won … Read more